How I remember

• Posted by chene whittington September 11, 2012 - Filed in Personal - 165 views

  Ok as I’m writing this post I’m an emotional mess. This is the day that I never talk about, never know how to handle and wish would had never happened.

  But It did.

  September the 11th is the day that the nation will remember forever– it is the day that the world will remember for ever and it is the day that I will hold in my heart forever because this is also the day of my  21st birthday.

  I wake up–I’m excited– today I get to order my first drink {a lot to look forward to, right} I get dressed, drive my normal hour in a half ride down the 35 to Merafone International. I get out the car still excited, climb the flights of stairs to my little office on the top floor of Commerce Bank, walk in the office to find —- no one there. Where is every one and then I heard it. The sounds of crying and the hum of the news in our break room.

  I walk in  closer and I get the look– and then one of my dear friends and co-workers runs to me {weeping} and says, “Happy Birthday love– I’m so sorry this is your day”.

  Confused I sit and watch– and cry— and then here comes the calls. The daycare, my family, and friends.

  I’m glued to my seat. I can’t believe this is happening– I had no words and I my heart hurts for the world– and that’s when It happened.

  I forgot.

  I forgot about my birthday. I forgot that today was a day that I was suppose to celebrate.. Who would want to?

  The rest of days  ahead were full of fear, sorrow and anger–nothing really matters but our nation’s safety.

  Years past and WE still remember but in the pasting years I have forgot– not about the attacks but about my birthday.

  When the month comes– I go directly into thinking of my son’s birthday planning {9.16} and try to avoid my day by any means.

  Don’t get me wrong– I’m blessed that I lived to see another wonderful year but to this day, I don’t know how to act.

  Weird but true.

  Not for sure how to balance the joy and the sadness of the day so I just avoid my day all together.

  But this year I think I got my big girl panties on because I’m ready to be happy!

  Happy that today is also MY DAY!

  So from the highest mountain I just want to wish myself a

  

  And say thank you Lord for giving me 32 wonderful years!

  But I will also always remember 9.11 as

  

   

  and so should you

  

  http://www.prototypemama.com/2012/09/11/how-i-remember-9-11-01/